Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
