I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
