What a fucking waste of an outfit
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
