It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
