just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
