where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
