We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
