"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
