is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
