the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
