In the future we'll all be gay
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize