This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
