i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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