Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize