idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
