My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
