when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
