I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
