Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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