3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
