My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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