do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
