Duck Duck Cougar?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
handjob tips. give me some.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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