I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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