My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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