So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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