this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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