Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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