and you said cock pushups were impossible
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
