A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
