Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
