YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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