Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
