I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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