the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
