Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
