College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
