Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
