the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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