and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
