I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She told me I should be a condom model.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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