so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize