She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
