think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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