Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I did not marry a roomba.
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