you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
