im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
