Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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