she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
