We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
