This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
