i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
