So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you made out with another girl for some wings
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