They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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