"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
