Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
