I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
