So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
