I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
