your thong is hanging out like whoa
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
